Category: Uncategorized

THIS IS NEXT

The clearest statement I’ve yet seen on where the GOP goes from here is available from this piece that quotes that lovable scamp, Newt Gingrich:

“Look,” Newt Gingrich, the former House Speaker, said the other day (on the air, to Bill O’Reilly), “I think there is a gay and secular fascism in this country that wants to impose its will on the rest of us, is prepared to use violence… . I think that it is a very dangerous threat to anybody who believes in traditional religion. And I think if you believe in historic Christianity, you have to confront the fact.” For diversity’s sake, he added that “the historic version of Islam” and “the historic version of Judaism” are likewise menaced—which is natural, given that gay, secular, fascist values are “the opposite of what you’re taught in Sunday school.”

Warnings of violence from the ever mysterious, yet surprisingly well organized “other” couched in a pseudo-religious patina. Welcome to the next four years; Campaign 12, ‘Merica Decides! has begun.

GOP: look out, Constitution Party, Here we come. Absolutely determined to become a predominantly southern, crazily religious splinter of a party. The real question, then, is: will the new major party be to the left of the current Democrat? Wouldn’t surprise me, actually. All depends on the economy.

File under: Yep.

Nice to hear, not unexpected quote from the National Governors Association meetings:

Montana Gov. Brian Schweitzer, the incoming head of the DGA, was more blunt: “Just to have an administration, a president, a vice president, who listened, engaged, and came to meeting prepared – it’s a brand new idea.”

Competence! What a fucking concept. Next: It is discovered that Obama doesn’t hold the very notion of “government” in contempt. Remarkable!

All your recruitment positions are belong to us

Yet another “I interviewed with teh Googul” story. This one recounts the eight (count ‘em) 8 interviews that were required to sift said applicant (or supplicant?) into the OUT pile. Not ready for mission critical jobs said they. Google probably has 3000 people working on said mission critical project, but–hey, if even one of them is only 110% ready on day one, all of Google will resolve to: fail. There’s a whole post in the notion of mission critical here, but what really gets me is the initial pitch.

Said supplicant wrote some ki11er k0de that caught mighty Google’s unblinking eye. So they wrote him thusly:

I recruit top notch Software Engineering talent at Google. I recently came across your name as a possible world class Engineer and am intrigued to know more about you. I promise to exchange some detailed info about us as well.

Uh, okay. Said Supplicant apparently still believed this note actually came from Google, and managed to attend some interviews to prove it. We can only assume the letter went on to say:

I are having some 92 million dollars UNITED STATES to park in you’re accounts. Do you have sum numbers’ so I can begin to moving the UNITED STATES dollars to your accounteds?

Clearly, recruiting “world class Engineers” isn’t in and of itself a mission critical operation.

I can eat 50 Hiroshimas

Yarr! Pirates attack and seize an oil tanker some 450 miles off East Africa. Despite the obvious and salutary effects on global warming, the steady growth in these pirate attacks has some wondering where it will all end. Some are already figuring these guys must have bigger operations in mind, like hijacking a gas tanker and blowing it up (or just selling it to somebody who will). Something like that would indeed be pretty bad:

“If it was an LNG tanker seized, we’re looking at something potentially catastrophic,” said Candyce Kelshall, a specialist in maritime energy security at Blue Water Defence, a Trinidad-based firm that provides training to governments and companies combating piracy. “An LNG tanker going up is like 50 Hiroshimas.”

We certainly don’t want that happening. Unmentioned, of course, are a few little details. First, said pirates would have to seize this LNG tanker without anyone noticing. Then, they’d have to sail it from the coast of East Africa (presumably, anyway…after all, these guys don’t exactly operate off Long Island Sound) to somewhere much more interesting. Without anyone noticing. Then they’d have to park it within a 50-Hiroshima blast radius of, say, a big city. New York City certainly suits with all the shipping traffic. LA would work too. But again: motor this ship up to and then park this ship in a major harbor without anyone noticing. Then they’d have to blow it up such that it actually exploded catastrophically. This, in and of itself, is actually a non-trivial step. However, conditioned by Hollywood as we are to expecting a colossal, city block flattening explosion after even the most minor fender-bender, this is perhaps the hardest point to make with the public. After all, it’s a well established fact that 99.999% of all elevators suffer catastrophic cable failure within 30 seconds of any unscheduled stop. This, of course, is also followed instantly by catastrophic emergency brake failure…it’s plainly a wonder that anyone survives an elevator ride.

Can we ever get past all the “We’re all going to die! This is the end of the Republic!” nonsense? The second most likely outcome of such a LNG tanker seizure is a 50-Hiroshima detonation way the hell and gone out to sea, being the result of a sailor pressing a button mid-coffee-sip on a US Navy missile cruiser located somewhere well over the horizon. The first most likely is, of course, the surrender of said pirates once their situation becomes clear to them. But either way works out pretty well.

Real security means focusing on the relatively easy to secure, already here type targets that can be turned into seemingly ubiquitous engines of fear, uncertainty, and doubt subsequent to the initial attack. As a rule, we don’t need to be wasting our efforts on the theoretical plots that require professional laboratory conditions aboard an airplane, or that rest upon ridiculously complex, multi-step, slowly evolving plots that, though summarily rejected by the audience in Die Hard 14: This Time It’s Really Personal, are at least 1% feasible…and thus MUST be defended against without consideration of expense or probability of said event while the 98% feasible targets languish because, gosh, that would require some minor outlay of money on the part of Cheney’s hunting buddies. Naturally, these “easy” targets are precisely the ones the Bush administration has repeatedly stressed that it could give a fuck about. Who could have expected that?

Somehow I thought it would be “BarackO!”

In which we learn about a newly minted Senator’s first encounter [warning: FOXnews, so NSFW] with the Presidentiary:

Four years ago, Obama and other newly elected members of the Senate were invited to the White House for a breakfast meeting with Bush, who pulled the young Chicagoan aside.

“Obama!” Bush exclaimed, according to Obama’s account of the meeting in his second memoir, “The Audacity of Hope.” “Come here and meet Laura. Laura, you remember Obama. We saw him on TV during election night. Beautiful family. And that wife of yours – that’s one impressive lady.”

The two men shook hands and then, according to Obama, Bush turned to an aide, “who squirted a big dollop of hand sanitizer in the president’s hand.”

Bush then offered some to Obama, who recalled: “Not wanting to seem unhygienic, I took a squirt.”

Okay, that’s more than a little weird. Was the President also wearing Kleenex boxes as shoes? How were his fingernails? Anywho, just when you think it’s peaked as a story:

The president then led Obama off to one side of the room, where Bush said: “I hope you don’t mind me giving you a piece of advice.”

“Not at all, Mr. President,” Obama told the commander-in-chief.

“You’ve got a bright future,” Bush said presciently. “Very bright. But I’ve been in this town awhile and, let me tell you, it can be tough. When you get a lot of attention like you’ve been getting, people start gunnin’ for ya. And it won’t necessarily just be coming from my side, you understand. From yours, too. Everybody’ll be waiting for you to slip, know what I mean? So watch yourself.”

Ever the friend to Our Burden, I guess. Mostly this interchange reminds me of the time a very special Aqualish named Ponda Baba ended up with no arm. Perhaps Bush is wanted in twelve planetary systems as well?

Back to Our Story:

Bush then noted that he and Obama had something in common.

“We both had to debate Alan Keyes,” the president said. “That guy’s a piece of work, isn’t he?”

This is clearly an issue we can reach across the aisle on. But things take a turn for the dramatic when:

Obama laughed and even “put my arm around his shoulder as we talked,” he recalled, although he added the gesture “might have made many of my friends, not to mention the Secret Service agents in the room, more than a little uneasy.”

I can see the headlines now: an unidentified United States Senator was wrestled to the ground today when he groped the President unexpectedly. Mr. Bush was unavailable for comment, still ensconced several stories underground in what insiders somewhat elliptically refer to as the White House’s ultra-secret Hyperbaric Purel Chamber.

But then it’s back to business:

Despite this display of bonhomie, Obama said the president’s demeanor turned downright frightening when he laid out his agenda to the freshly minted lawmakers.

“Suddenly it felt as if somebody in a back room had flipped a switch,” Obama wrote. “The president’s eyes became fixed; his voice took on the agitated, rapid tone of someone neither accustomed to nor welcoming interruption; his easy affability was replaced by an almost messianic certainty. As I watched my mostly Republican Senate colleagues hang on his every word, I was reminded of the dangerous isolation that power can bring, and appreciated the Founders’ wisdom in designating a system to keep power in check.”

When I quoted from this passage to Bush during an Oval Office interview, the president seemed irritated to learn he had been taken to task by the senator he once counseled.

I thought I was actually showing some kindness,“ Bush said indignantly. "And out of that he came with this belief?”

The president added with a bit of a scowl: “He doesn’t know me very well.”

Oh, I think he knows you pretty goddamned well. We all do. We. All. Do.

Joy Behar, meet Campbell Brown

Credit where due department: CNN’s Campbell Brown has been dramatically more engaged and more insightful recently than at any time in my memory. True, she’s getting more to do recently than report on plucky cats that could, but she’s also doing something with that occsional opportunity for real journalism (sorry, no link to the full transcript):

Tonight the scape-goating of Sarah Palin. Whatever you may have thought about John McCain’s running mate… about whether she was qualified, prepared or experienced enough for the job… try if you can to put all of that aside for just a moment. Because Sarah Palin is who she is. She did not become measurably more intelligent or measurably less intelligent during this campaign. Remember, she was only part of the campaign for a matter of nine weeks. Sarah Palin is who she is.

Which is why I find it so stunning that the very people who introduced us to Sarah Palin… who told us she would make a great Vice President… have now turned on her with a vengeance. They are the top advisors to John McCain’s failed campaign and they are desperate right now to find someone to blame for their long long list of mistakes. They have been launching grenades at Palin and her supporters… some of their allegations we at CNN have found to be patently false. You will hear people say “this is what always happens with a losing campaign”… and hopefully, this is the last time we will be talking about these people. But what they have done just in the last few days to save their own skins is worth a final comment.

To those top McCain advisors who leaked the little story about seeing Sarah Palin in a towel. To those who called her and her family “Wasilla Hillbillies” while using her to stoke class warfare with redmeat speeches and an anti-elitist message. To those who claim she didn’t know Africa was a continent. To those McCain aides who say she is the reason they lost this election… can I please remind you of one thing: you picked her.

You are the ones who supposedly vetted her, and then told the American people she was qualified for the job. You are the ones who after meeting her a couple of times, told us she was ready to be just one heartbeat away from the Presidency. If even half of what you say NOW is true, then boy, did you try to sell the American people a bill of goods. If Sarah Palin is the reason some voters chose Barack Obama, that is no one’s fault but your own. John McCain, as he so graciously said himself the other night, lost this election. He lost it with your help, your advice, your guidance, and yes, your running mate recommendations. And that is crystal clear to everyone, no matter how hard you try to blame Sarah Palin or anyone else.

As Atrios notes, it’s no Special Comment from Keith Olberman; I’d say it’s better. Olberman serves up the red meat, to be sure, but a force such as Brown on CNN gives you something else entirely: a thoughtful, questioning agent that isn’t immediately identifiable as in the bag for any given ideology. Much, much more effective, if somewhat less enjoyable for the partisan. Good on you, Campbell.

Why He Won

I think this pretty much captures the essence of the entire Obama Campaign: Professional Division:

Prologue…Obama is paying a visit to the Googleplex:

The politicians visiting auto plants could control what was said during the event. Today, candidates must place themselves at the tender mercies of the audience. Those who go to Google sit exposed on the stage, without the protective lectern provided in a debate, answering questions for 45 to 60 minutes. But without the escape hatch of a timekeeper’s buzzer, and as the only speaker, the candidate cannot evade uncomfortable questions. Eric E. Schmidt, Google’s chairman and chief executive, for example, asked Senator Obama for his views on Iran, Pakistan, and Guantánamo — and that was a single question.

Fine. But then, Act Two: A Sudden Turn:

Mr. Schmidt asked […] “How do you determine good ways of sorting one million 32-bit integers in two megabytes of RAM?” [Obama replied] “A bubble sort is the wrong way to go” […] the quip brought down the house.

And that, my friends, is a prepared candidate.

Joy Behar, meet David Letterman

More from the Questions the “Serious” Media Will Not Ask file:

Letterman questioned him about Palin’s claim that Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama “palled around with terrorists,” and McCain backed her up, saying his opponent need to better explain his relationship with former Weather Underground activist William Ayers.

“Did you not have a relationship with Gordon Liddy?” Letterman asked about Watergate burglar G. Gordon Liddy.

McCain said he knew him. Then, after a commercial break, McCain said, “I know Gordon Liddy. He paid his debt, he went to prison … I’m not in any was embarrassed to know Gordon Liddy.”

“You understand the same case could be made of your relationship with him as is being made with William Ayers?” Letterman said.

McCain said he has been completely open about his relationship with Liddy.

Letterman appeared to ridicule McCain about the implication that Obama and Ayers had a relationship.

“Are they double-dating, are they going to dinner, what are they doing?” Letterman asked. “Are they driving across country?”

“Maybe going to Denny’s,” McCain said.

I doubt it, John. Denny’s doesn’t usually cotton to the African Americans. But, in other news, does anyone give a shit that we’re so reliant on our “entertainers” to ask serious questions?

DOW 0


Reliably predicting events even a few days in the future is never easy. But this time, I think it’s pretty obviously straightforward. Lead-pipe domain. Assuming a continued steady and daily 500 point drop in the Dow Jones Industrial Index (which is looking pretty optimistic at this point) when will we finally reach Dow=0?

Why, on November 4th, of course. When else could it possibly happen?

I expect CNN and others to have some “Countdown to 0!!!” graphics up by the afternoon.

The Impossible Has Happened

No one could have expected:

Despite pledges by President George W. Bush and American intelligence officials to the contrary, hundreds of US citizens overseas have been eavesdropped on as they called friends and family back home, according to two former military intercept operators who worked at the giant National Security Agency (NSA) center in Fort Gordon, Georgia.

“These were just really everyday, average, ordinary Americans who happened to be in the Middle East, in our area of intercept and happened to be making these phone calls on satellite phones,” said Adrienne Kinne, a 31-year old US Army Reserves Arab linguist assigned to a special military program at the NSA’s Back Hall at Fort Gordon from November 2001 to 2003.

Kinne described the contents of the calls as “personal, private things with Americans who are not in any way, shape or form associated with anything to do with terrorism.”

She said US military officers, American journalists and American aid workers were routinely intercepted and “collected on” as they called their offices or homes in the United States.

This is only the marginally above board part of this particular iceberg. Guaranteed, absolutely, 100% take-it-to-the-bank: they were using this stuff for purely political ratfucking style oppo research and general mayhem. No doubt whatsoever. Whether or not we’ll ever get to that information is doubtful, but it’s there somewhere. Start with the attorney firing and work backwards.