That’s why they’ve got 75,000 applications — they’re all trying to make the Internet look decent on the iPhone.

Microsoft CEO and Asshat, Steve Ballmer who might just want to compare the average web display experience on a desktop install of Explorer to an iPhone Safari. Seriously.

The One True Creed: Apollo

Let the Creed apologia begin, apparently. Tucked in amongst this collection of rampant ass-hattery (“more and more couples today find that Creed was underrated!” is the only hack statement not made in there) we have this remarkable statement:

By late 2002, singer Scott Stapp was on a near-daily regimen of alcohol and Percocet—prescribed after a car crash

Uh, what? Is Jonah Weiner trying to tell us that Scott Stapp went to the doctor in the aftermath of a car crash and was prescribed a regimen of alcohol and Percocet, but that said regimen was Q-whenever you feels like it? And don’t fuck around with that rum, Scott, go straight for the gin. I’ve seen some nasty Percocet interactions with the other clear liquors…and, furthermore, as your doctor, I demand you buy the good stuff: Hendricks.

Moving on, we get to this:

Listening to Creed today, it’s hard to reconcile the animus against the band with the music.

See, I’d word that differently too. I’d go:

Listening to Creed today, the animus against the band seems another example of liberal namby-pamby-ism; in any functioning Western society, this band would have been forced to eat its own intestines long ago.

It’s basically the same statement, but I think mine captures the sense of it with a little more flair.

Schlitz: OG

Though I never really realized it was gone, the one with Gusto, Schlitz, is making a triumphant return. But not in a Rolling Stones style victory lap…no siree, Schlitz is re-booting like Batman and coming back in his full-on 60s glory. Okay, not like Batman at all. But 60s! The hipsters will totally be off the PBR any day now.

Witness the all-too-familiar tale:

Wortham says that Schlitz fell victim to the industry trend in the 1970s when breweries accelerated the brewing process and used cheaper ingredients – all with the goal of cutting costs.

Turns out “that no one associated with the brand even knew the original recipe anymore. The brewmaster Bob Newman had to track down Schlitz employees and brewers from the 1960s to piece together the formula” and then dickered with the results until something approximating the recalled flavor was achieved. Thus, the “Classic 60’s Formula” was born. The audience seems appreciative:

Kyle Wortham, director of marketing for the Chicago-based beer brand, tells me the old formula has been a big hit among beer drinkers in the Midwest markets where it has already been rolled out, sparking many a trip down memory lane. “They light up when they have this beer that they haven’t had in 30 or 40 years,” Wortham says. “We heard a lot of PG and a lot of R-rated stories from these guys.”

Um: neat? I appreciate the journalistic restraint in not laying any of the PG-13 stories on us. That’s really something to save for the big reveal of 60s-style Busch.

The NYT article linked above describes the “new” old flavor as:

a surprisingly smooth, full lager, slightly sweet with malt and a little bitter with actual hop flavor

Which, to me, doesn’t sound all that different from the high-temperature fermented corn syrup that was Schlitz until not so very long ago. But: time will tell…because (hold on to your hats, boys): Boston is a roll-out city. And, when you’re out of Schlitz, you’re out of beer.

Our Ultracapacitave Overlords

Technology Review lets us in on our ultracapacitive future by offering a peep at these super hot buses equipped with, you guessed it, ultracapacitors. The cleverness here is that they get over their short range by charging at special bus stops.

There’s just one catch: the best ultracapacitors can only store about 5 percent of the energy that lithium-ion batteries hold, limiting them to a couple of miles per charge. This makes them ineffective as an energy storage medium for passenger vehicles. But what ultracapacitors lack in range they make up in their ability to rapidly charge and discharge. So in vehicles that have to stop frequently and predictably as part of normal operation, energy storage based exclusively on ultracapacitors begins to make sense.

They tell us about the stops too:

Unlike a conventional trolley bus that has to continually touch an overhead power line, Sinautec’s ultracapacitor buses take big sips of electricity every two or three miles at designated charging stations, which double as bus stops. When at these stations, a collector on the top of the bus rises a few feet and touches an overhead charging line. Within a couple of minutes, the ultracapacitor banks stored under the bus seats are fully charged.

Fantastic. Two minutes at a stop, well, that’s not ideal, but let’s assume that gets better. And, frankly, every agency but the MBTA will set those longer, charging stops at stations that are quite busy (and thus feature longer boarding times) anyway.

But wait, there’s more:

“The ultracapacitor bus is also cheaper than lithium-ion battery buses,” says Ye. “We used the Olympics (lithium-ion) bus as a model and found ours about 40 percent less expensive with a far superior reliability rating.” Ye adds that the environmental benefits are compelling. “Even if you use the dirtiest coal plant on the planet, it generates a third of the carbon dioxide of diesel when used to charge an ultracapacitor.”

And, of paramount interest to the MBTA here in Boston, these super-buses will even fix Routes 1 and especially 39:

There are some other important limitations. The 41-passenger buses, based on current technology, lose 35 percent of their range when air conditioning is turned on, and have weak acceleration.

Holy crap, since 0-60 times will be over 20 seconds, we might just be able to keep to a fucking schedule instead of racing up and down Huntington Ave all the while blaming bunching on “traffic conditions.” We can’t not buy these busses. Today!