Their happiness will turn into sorrow, and their blood will be mixed with their tears. We call upon our Muslim people in Pakistan, on whose land Sheikh Osama was killed, to rise up and revolt.

al Qaeda, responding to and admitting the death of Osama bin Laden.
They are apparently unaware that he a) has been dead for years and kept on ice until Obama needed him for reelection b) is still very much alive c) never existed in the first place and/or d) never concerned us much anyway.

BBC Reports, You Decide

David Miliband quits frontline politics

David Miliband says he is to quit frontline politics after being pipped for the Labour leadership by younger brother Ed.

Just when you think you’ve made it, somebody comes along and pips you.

pip (5) Brit., informal
verb ( pipped , pipping ) [ trans. ] (usu. be pipped)
defeat by a small margin or at the last moment : you were just pipped for the prize.
• dated: hit or wound (someone) with a gunshot.

I see. Well, one or the other, then. Jolly well played, old sport.