Tag: dhs

Step in Front of the Telescreen

Wal Mart, long known to be target number one of al Qaeda, is going to be taking part in a Department of Homeland Security fear indoctrin…er, “See Something, Say Something” terrorism interdiction program. At Wal Marts around the country.

“If you see something suspicious in the parking lot or in the store, say something immediately,” Napolitano said in the video [to be played at check-out lines in Wal Mart]. “Report suspicious activity to your local police or sheriff. If you need help ask a Wal-Mart manager for assistance.”

No doubt the next 9/11 will indeed unfold in an exurban Wal Mart parking lot, unleashing a devastating attack on a number of poorly parked SUVs and abandoned carts. Well played, DHS, well played. Another sane, sober response to the relative threat. Let’s get some porno scanners into the cart area so we can finally be safe.

Step in Front of the Telescreen

Security Theater

Matt Yglesias notes that we ‘Mericans have to pass through magnetometers to visit a museum or enter City Hall…and wonders:

It really strikes me as worth wondering exactly how much time and resources we’re wasting on all this. Just think about all the completely soft targets that exist even in the United States of America. If you assume the existence of a person with a functioning explosive device and a desire to massacre innocent people, there’s nothing stopping that person from detonating it on a crowded Chinatown bus or a packed subway platform. […] That indicates that the money and time spent doing security screening is basically 100 percent wasted. Even if you could just walk through the door at the State Department and blow up a bomb, it wouldn’t happen any more often than people walk into the Gallery Place Metro Station and blow up bombs.

It is 100% wasted. It’s 100% wasted at airports too. The attackers on 9/11 strolled right on through these same checks. Teams that specifically attempt to defeat checkpoints by smuggling weapons of various kinds through inevitably succeeded, so they just stopped trying rather than make everyone nervous. If a determined hijacker makes it to the checkpoint: game over. This is why we secured cockpit doors. The checkpoint isn’t there to stop anybody.

But then, Yglesias (seemingly inadvertently) gets at the real point of all this:

Having all the metal detectors everywhere, however, makes it seem as if there’s some vast quantity of terrorists at the gate being held back by our X-Ray machines.

Indeed it does. That is precisely the point. The program was initiated to instill fear in the general population, and is maintained because of institutional inertia. Full stop.

4 million quatloos for the newcomer

Hey, DHS, this is really a great idea:

A senior government official with the U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS) has expressed great interest in a so-called safety bracelet that would serve as a stun device […]

This bracelet would:

• take the place of an airline boarding pass

• contain personal information about the traveler

• be able to monitor the whereabouts of each passenger and his/her luggage

• shock the wearer on command, completely immobilizing him/her for several minutes

This is fantastic. But why let these liberal alarmists on the Left and the crazed communists at the ACLU worry us into limiting this remarkable technology to flying ‘Mericans? If we really want to challenge The Enemy, we should make these into stylish neck bracelets that all Patriotic ‘Mericans wear. I know I’m not afraid of being tracked (and proactively punished) 24/7. It’s really no different from the tracking that Lord Jesus performs on me anyway.

Interiors


Is there some overriding reason that the various departmental functions of Homeland Security can’t be folded into the Department of the Interior? Then can we ban the use of the phrase “The Homeland” when referring to the United States of America for at least the next 10 years?

The arrangement makes more organizational sense, eliminates one whole department of government (golly, think of the savings!), and prevents any intelligence “stove-piping” re: the Native American Menace. It’s win/win. Unexpected bonus: DOI already has a bitchin’ logo. Once The Enemy has a chance to see that buffalo, I say let ‘em bring it on.