Tag: homeland security

To the ChristieChopper!

Turns out getting Chris Christie to little league games is a National Security Issue:

Gov. Chris Christie arrived at his son’s baseball game this afternoon aboard a State Police helicopter […] the 55-foot long helicopter buzzed over trees in left field, circled the outfield and landed in an adjacent football field. Christie disembarked from the helicopter and got into a black car with tinted windows that drove him about a 100 yards to the baseball field.

I guess we should be happy the car didn’t take him to another, smaller chopper that could land on the dugout or somesuch.

As for the chopper, it’s one of two $12.5 million helicopters purchased for the state police. The intention was to use them for “homeland security duties and transporting critically injured patients.”

GOP: trusted on the economy and National Security. Who among us doesn’t rest assured that the GOP is always taking the common sense line on spending and the appropriate limits of government. Thank FSM that folks like Christie are out there on the ramparts, Defending Freedom with Our Tax Dollars.

Keep in mind, this is the guy the GOP Commentariat are begging to get into 2012. Need more helicopter fuel? Chris Christie suggests we cut Medicaid or dump infrastructure projects. These are, after all, the only reasonable, Serious Person approaches to funding the truly important things in life.

To the ChristieChopper!

We find that enhanced expenditures have been excessive: to be deemed cost-effective in analyses that substantially bias the consideration toward the opposite conclusion, they would have to deter, prevent, foil, or protect against 1,667 otherwise successful Times-Square type attacks per year, or more than four per day.

John Mueller and Mark Stewart report back after analyzing Homeland Security spending. Word.
Source: polisci.osu.edu

4 million quatloos for the newcomer

Hey, DHS, this is really a great idea:

A senior government official with the U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS) has expressed great interest in a so-called safety bracelet that would serve as a stun device […]

This bracelet would:

• take the place of an airline boarding pass

• contain personal information about the traveler

• be able to monitor the whereabouts of each passenger and his/her luggage

• shock the wearer on command, completely immobilizing him/her for several minutes

This is fantastic. But why let these liberal alarmists on the Left and the crazed communists at the ACLU worry us into limiting this remarkable technology to flying ‘Mericans? If we really want to challenge The Enemy, we should make these into stylish neck bracelets that all Patriotic ‘Mericans wear. I know I’m not afraid of being tracked (and proactively punished) 24/7. It’s really no different from the tracking that Lord Jesus performs on me anyway.

Interiors


Is there some overriding reason that the various departmental functions of Homeland Security can’t be folded into the Department of the Interior? Then can we ban the use of the phrase “The Homeland” when referring to the United States of America for at least the next 10 years?

The arrangement makes more organizational sense, eliminates one whole department of government (golly, think of the savings!), and prevents any intelligence “stove-piping” re: the Native American Menace. It’s win/win. Unexpected bonus: DOI already has a bitchin’ logo. Once The Enemy has a chance to see that buffalo, I say let ‘em bring it on.