Brace yourself for The World’s Funniest Joke:
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, ‘My friend is dead! What can I do?’ The operator says ‘Calm down. I can help. First let’s make sure he’s dead.’ There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says ‘OK, now what?’
The dirty little secret behind Grape Nuts? Not grapes, not nuts:
Mixed with yeast (one cup per 2,000 pounds) and water, the flour turns to dough, gets chopped into 10-pound loaves and sent into a huge oven – 1,610 loaves at a time. “Now it gets interesting,” Mr. Vargas said at his workstation, watching the loaves emerge from the oven and catapult into the darkness. An instant later, they hit the fan – a whirling high-speed shredder that rips them to smithereens.
Did you say knives? Rotating knives, yes.
I think up until now I had inadequately divined Grape Nuts’ attitude towards its loaves.
Lemkin 